It has been quiet crazy, amusing, painful mirthful months
for me. Some curious incidences have happened. It started with a couple of
crows. This couple, on one Saturday took loathing for me and attacked my home
and my ear drums with constant cawing and anger. If I went to the balcony they
landed on both the sides of the grill and would attack the plants. In-fact it
shredded one of the plants with long-long leaves and none is left on it. If I
would sit in the drawing room which is open it again would sit on the grill with
shrill cawing and attack on metal grill with its beaks. This continued and its
only the monsoon which saved me. If it rains they are away. Now this has gone
into my heart so much that my ears are always alert to cawing. Even if I am
walking I do hear the crows even in the cacophony of the traffic and all the
Mumbai din around. I do not have orinthophobia as I love birds but these two
have created that loathing for them specifically there cawing.
Along with this I do not know, this month has been that of
incessant pain and agony for me. I have kept it with me, but my irritation and irrational
fears are on boil. I have fear of losing out. Losing my brains and losing my
battles. I do not like what I am doing, or what I like I am not doing
completely. I have that incessant irk around me. I feel tired being this. I am tired...
I have also got in me a hatred for all kind of ism’s. I believe
follower of any ism is opinionated, full of themselves. They are master of
manipulation and cannot see beyond themselves. Have this in mind that if there
was a wrong it can be righted by extreme wrong only. It is eye for an eye.
There is no equality, consideration of other. If this is right that is only
right.
It sure has not been rosy but not all dark too. I got an
opportunity to write an industry blog, although my writing for some was
childish and pathetic who does not know grammar. I have visited one fund for
the business idea I want to implement. I expected help and was promised but all
in vain. Anyways as usual I do not know what to say, but it seems again I am at
crossroads and need to decide. It would again be cataclysmic. Don’t know good
or bad.
3 comments:
Its scary way crows are attacking yu...looks like some Hitchcockian scenario.. well yday we were discussing of what we want to do and what we end up doing and thought of taking some cue from you.... Finally all "isms" are nothing but an escape route; a funda mooted across to defend the forced ideology one wants to relate themselves with...
Time for goodbyes i think. Will be a good period for you. After bad comes the good. But even that good is transitory.
The distance between thoughts and actions is the longest distance and probably not the easiest to traverse.It is easy to accuse but takes a while to question your own thoughts and actions. In the crow's cawing, wonder what makes you afraid? What will you lose? In your hatred of isms is a schism of thought and action. It's good to be in a dilemma. The classic test of a man's worth and character. Of the two paths what you chose will be the indication of the man you are. Don't fall for empty promises and don't fall for false praise. These two will be given to you in abundance by people who want to see you fall.
Btw, your belief or lack thereof on any isms will not make any difference. Any "ism" is a definition of a certain behaviour, action as it exists in society. Just like your saying you don't like men, will not make men go away. What do you know, your hatred for isms also is called an "ism". With your vocabulary, you should know it.
Post a Comment