Crow Fear, isms and other musings

It has been quiet crazy, amusing, painful mirthful months for me. Some curious incidences have happened. It started with a couple of crows. This couple, on one Saturday took loathing for me and attacked my home and my ear drums with constant cawing and anger. If I went to the balcony they landed on both the sides of the grill and would attack the plants. In-fact it shredded one of the plants with long-long leaves and none is left on it. If I would sit in the drawing room which is open it again would sit on the grill with shrill cawing and attack on metal grill with its beaks. This continued and its only the monsoon which saved me. If it rains they are away. Now this has gone into my heart so much that my ears are always alert to cawing. Even if I am walking I do hear the crows even in the cacophony of the traffic and all the Mumbai din around. I do not have orinthophobia as I love birds but these two have created that loathing for them specifically there cawing.

Along with this I do not know, this month has been that of incessant pain and agony for me. I have kept it with me, but my irritation and irrational fears are on boil. I have fear of losing out. Losing my brains and losing my battles. I do not like what I am doing, or what I like I am not doing completely. I have that incessant irk around me. I feel tired being this. I am tired...

I have also got in me a hatred for all kind of ism’s. I believe follower of any ism is opinionated, full of themselves. They are master of manipulation and cannot see beyond themselves. Have this in mind that if there was a wrong it can be righted by extreme wrong only. It is eye for an eye. There is no equality, consideration of other. If this is right that is only right.

It sure has not been rosy but not all dark too. I got an opportunity to write an industry blog, although my writing for some was childish and pathetic who does not know grammar. I have visited one fund for the business idea I want to implement. I expected help and was promised but all in vain. Anyways as usual I do not know what to say, but it seems again I am at crossroads and need to decide. It would again be cataclysmic. Don’t know good or bad.

Mensh Tracht und Gott Lacht

For past few days this thought has been there in my mind.

I had set out to achieve a milestone, set by someone who actually had set it as a challenge which was supposedly unachievable for me. It was intended as a derogation or so it seemed and I had resolved that I would get back to that person and show I was not an empty show. The challenge was of degree, position and six digit compensation.

Now when all that and in fact more is achieved with Degree, Position and not six but seven digit , I felt strangely empty. Seems now that was such an inane thing. I do not even feel like letting know. Now I think how small was I then and I am ashamed of my myopic view.

Things I wanted then, I did not get and things I have got is more than I imagined. I do not believe in higher being but today I think that what s/he planned was for better. It was meant to be good for all. Today every one is better than before and that's what matters.

Maybe what I had kept as my signature, is what is Truth: Mensh Tracht und Gott Lacht. ie "Man plans and God laughs"

moments..thoughts..

There are a few things in the world that are sublime..that not just touch your heart but enter and stay..

like watching a movie on your laptop with earphones; one side in my ear, the other in my beloved's.

FC Barcelona's game. with any opponent. The tiki-taka.

The National Anthem by the deaf and mute children in the movie hall.

A certain strain of a certain song.

The smart repartee of KM

Taking a lingering long bath, lying in a bathtub.

Soft sunlight filtering through the leaves in a thicket.

Beats of a tap dance.

Gypsy eyes.

Update Request

Owner of Blog!! Please update!! Doesn't suit you writing one blog in a year!!

The Zoozoo Me

Yes I do not not know its bounty of age or that of marriage... I am adding in myself in very peculiar manner... Maybe its both....

Well as for people who would have seen Vodafone ad's (which I believe every one would have...) the addition in me is happening in similar proportions to the characters in the ad, called zoozoo...

I prided myself with flattest 0f the flat belly line; in fact it was blemishless... it did not have the customary chocolates; incidentally also called abs in various denominations 6, 8, 24.. do not know.. last one was exaggeration.. (again affliction of marriage...)....

So coming back had flat stomach and so much flat that I could have been called emaciated; infact the relative thinness in other areas ; gave that picture...

anyways I prided on it as few people who had single pack in terms of tyres, were so jealous of it..There were so many theories about it... My sitting posture, my way of walking that I use to run (actually was blessed with very short friends who had short steps and my average steps left them way behind).. and so on... But if you get something without pain doesnot last.. and without much pain either I added so much to the middle line.. It's hell of a single bloated pack now... Many theories still abound and sometimes beer, sometimes a russian drink which incidentally is called the biggest rapist (it changes in an instant Virgin Mary to Bloody Mary)... and even marriage... Sometimes some controversy of richness and all... which is actually a hum-bug..

Anyways now am being pushed to the travesty called Gym... It's a conspiracy, a crime against the laziest person on earth.. ( it took ten days for me to type this...)...

Maybe the Vodafone can make me there masket and this acquistion of mine which is so reviled by all, can become an asset for me...

Only threat is my missus... She is sitting in her home for last one month so that I do not get food I am back to being with no pack... Its different matter that her absence is giving me chance to nourish my zozoo asset a bit more... under the wisdom of Old Monks and Learned Russian Drinks, throwing in between a ceratin bird which is such a bliss....

Need to convince her how its an asset... And finally we could be rich.. the hum-bug which is so much propounded now...

Ishqiya

Ishqiya... The Romantic. Or the eternal Romantic. Do not know I believe Movie was good in comparison to what is dished out now days. The song had been creating that anticipation for long. The teaser also gave a good feeling and then, Vishal B as Producer and Music director with Naseer and Arshad added to it. (Arshad I believe is one actor who is amazing and actually he is quiet an unsung one and has not got his due; due to him)...

However, the movie left me wanting for more. The first half was again which built that anticipation... Chaubey had in first half built that amazing warm feeling and I was expecting to be jolted ... It was too good to last....
But then in the next half he just jumped into giving that jolt....The unfolding of plot was not so good... we knew its would happen this way only and that element of surprise was missing..... It felt disjointed.. A bit jerky as if Mr. Chaubey was in hurry to complete the movie.... It was not taut as a thriller should have been...

However as a debut its really good... Vishal as usual in his role of music director was amazing.... I do not have to say about the songs but the background score was amazing too...

I left with a feeling that it had to be more..The movie deserved more... wanted something more... Left a feeling of being incomplete... Something Missing....

Catch 22

A small town boy... In a big-big Metro... what does he do?? Caught in Catch 22... He pines for the small town, its wind, its wild wild forest and green, the beautiful world and colours which even a clour blind can easily see, the brilliant sky in the night, the winter chill and summer Breeze...

He wants to go back. But he is used to the ways of the big town. In the small town where the world sleeps at seven, he is used to feel that the evening has just begun, you can go out to catch the latest movie, the theater both english and Hindi, the books you love is available any time and the money it affords you.

I know it has its price. No time for loved ones. No fresh breath to drive the morning blues away. The stress which actually makes you irritable. The harshness in mind as you live in the concrete jungle. And most important loss of that beautiful connect with whom he wants... The price of losing his character, where he is more selfish... The heavy price of acrimony... The price of hating himself for that...

... He does not have the answer of this catch 22...