Thursday, 24 September 2015

The Bhishma Pitamah Syndrome and ifs of course of history…


Looking at the history of India you see a single course running across centuries; the Bhisma Syndrome..
 
Bhishm means terrible oath. An oath so terrible that it had the capability of changing the course of history.

So the first instance was when Devavrata, son of Ganga and Shantanu (the then reigning king of Kuru) took an oath, a terrible oath, to remain celibate lifelong and serve the throne of Kuru for his whole like. This oath he took to make sure his dad could marry his old age love, a nubile fisher woman.

This terrible oath was like an agreement which you sign with someone (usually a VC) which closes all the doors for you. He was:
·         To be celibate (so no risk of progeny to sway the mind in future)
·         The fiercest and strongest fighter (one who defeated Parshuram) was to be free of cost body guard of empire.
·         The keenest political mind at service for all time.

Now this not necessary as Bhishma was capable enough to get a woman by force for his purposes. He did exactly that to get his two younger step brothers married. He could have just brought this woman for his dad. Anyways but this oath appealed to psyche of our ancestors. The mark of greatness was:

1.       Ability to spurn power.
2.       Beyond the trappings of wealth, family and woman; the so called trappings of Maya.

And since then India just lost brilliant leaders, rulers and men of exceptional capability who could have changed the course of history.

Imagine Ganga Putra as the King of India. Such a powerful man who would have united India and beyond, laid foundation of development and cultural growth. Beyond speculation India would have avoided such an expensive and huge war called Maha Bharat.

Lets come to now modern India. Gandhi Ji suffered from same syndrome. I propose that he was a man who had complete moral authority, control and position to give India a new direction. Only thing he had to take power in his hand in terms of ruling India post independence. But he wanted to be above this. If he had said that for five years I would be prime minister (a la Mandela, although in hindsight) he would have kept India so united. Jinnah would have been made the president of India. A man driven by ego would have listened to Gandhi and would have felt proud to be first citizen of India. Symbolically a community, so alienated today, would have felt proud. Nehru would have been in his elements as brilliant foreign minister.

The economic thought of Gandhi focusing on grass roots and making populace self sufficient would have put a foundation which would have eased into industrialization. Gandhi Ji just had to make sure that the country was one. And with his moral authority and leaders like Maulana Azad, Semmant Gandhi it would if not a cake walk, but an easy task. Imagine the possibilities it would have ushered today. A country so vast. Resources at its disposal. Today the world would have been talking about India and not China. Most of political troubles we are saddled with today (From Kashmir, to Fundamentalism, to border issues) would not have been there. Religion was sorted. Only thing to tackle would have been un-equality of caste and economy. We would have easily done away with that as the real issues would have been those two and not so many fissures we have. Sangh would never had taken off and neither would have other fundamental parties.

Also imagine the cricket team India would have had. J

And this syndrome was repeated again. JP.


I wish this syndrome was not the cornerstone of our cultural psyche.

Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Crow Fear, isms and other musings


It has been quiet crazy, amusing, painful mirthful months for me. Some curious incidences have happened. It started with a couple of crows. This couple, on one Saturday took loathing for me and attacked my home and my ear drums with constant cawing and anger. If I went to the balcony they landed on both the sides of the grill and would attack the plants. In-fact it shredded one of the plants with long-long leaves and none is left on it. If I would sit in the drawing room which is open it again would sit on the grill with shrill cawing and attack on metal grill with its beaks. This continued and its only the monsoon which saved me. If it rains they are away. Now this has gone into my heart so much that my ears are always alert to cawing. Even if I am walking I do hear the crows even in the cacophony of the traffic and all the Mumbai din around. I do not have orinthophobia as I love birds but these two have created that loathing for them specifically there cawing.

Along with this I do not know, this month has been that of incessant pain and agony for me. I have kept it with me, but my irritation and irrational fears are on boil. I have fear of losing out. Losing my brains and losing my battles. I do not like what I am doing, or what I like I am not doing completely. I have that incessant irk around me. I feel tired being this. I am tired...

I have also got in me a hatred for all kind of ism’s. I believe follower of any ism is opinionated, full of themselves. They are master of manipulation and cannot see beyond themselves. Have this in mind that if there was a wrong it can be righted by extreme wrong only. It is eye for an eye. There is no equality, consideration of other. If this is right that is only right.

It sure has not been rosy but not all dark too. I got an opportunity to write an industry blog, although my writing for some was childish and pathetic who does not know grammar. I have visited one fund for the business idea I want to implement. I expected help and was promised but all in vain. Anyways as usual I do not know what to say, but it seems again I am at crossroads and need to decide. It would again be cataclysmic. Don’t know good or bad.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Mensh Tracht und Gott Lacht

For past few days this thought has been there in my mind.

I had set out to achieve a milestone, set by someone who actually had set it as a challenge which was supposedly unachievable for me. It was intended as a derogation or so it seemed and I had resolved that I would get back to that person and show I was not an empty show. The challenge was of degree, position and six digit compensation.

Now when all that and in fact more is achieved with Degree, Position and not six but seven digit , I felt strangely empty. Seems now that was such an inane thing. I do not even feel like letting know. Now I think how small was I then and I am ashamed of my myopic view.

Things I wanted then, I did not get and things I have got is more than I imagined. I do not believe in higher being but today I think that what s/he planned was for better. It was meant to be good for all. Today every one is better than before and that's what matters.

Maybe what I had kept as my signature, is what is Truth: Mensh Tracht und Gott Lacht. ie "Man plans and God laughs"

Sunday, 31 July 2011

moments..thoughts..

There are a few things in the world that are sublime..that not just touch your heart but enter and stay..

like watching a movie on your laptop with earphones; one side in my ear, the other in my beloved's.

FC Barcelona's game. with any opponent. The tiki-taka.

The National Anthem by the deaf and mute children in the movie hall.

A certain strain of a certain song.

The smart repartee of KM

Taking a lingering long bath, lying in a bathtub.

Soft sunlight filtering through the leaves in a thicket.

Beats of a tap dance.

Gypsy eyes.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Update Request

Owner of Blog!! Please update!! Doesn't suit you writing one blog in a year!!



Friday, 26 March 2010

The Zoozoo Me

Yes I do not not know its bounty of age or that of marriage... I am adding in myself in very peculiar manner... Maybe its both....

Well as for people who would have seen Vodafone ad's (which I believe every one would have...) the addition in me is happening in similar proportions to the characters in the ad, called zoozoo...

I prided myself with flattest 0f the flat belly line; in fact it was blemishless... it did not have the customary chocolates; incidentally also called abs in various denominations 6, 8, 24.. do not know.. last one was exaggeration.. (again affliction of marriage...)....

So coming back had flat stomach and so much flat that I could have been called emaciated; infact the relative thinness in other areas ; gave that picture...

anyways I prided on it as few people who had single pack in terms of tyres, were so jealous of it..There were so many theories about it... My sitting posture, my way of walking that I use to run (actually was blessed with very short friends who had short steps and my average steps left them way behind).. and so on... But if you get something without pain doesnot last.. and without much pain either I added so much to the middle line.. It's hell of a single bloated pack now... Many theories still abound and sometimes beer, sometimes a russian drink which incidentally is called the biggest rapist (it changes in an instant Virgin Mary to Bloody Mary)... and even marriage... Sometimes some controversy of richness and all... which is actually a hum-bug..

Anyways now am being pushed to the travesty called Gym... It's a conspiracy, a crime against the laziest person on earth.. ( it took ten days for me to type this...)...

Maybe the Vodafone can make me there masket and this acquistion of mine which is so reviled by all, can become an asset for me...

Only threat is my missus... She is sitting in her home for last one month so that I do not get food I am back to being with no pack... Its different matter that her absence is giving me chance to nourish my zozoo asset a bit more... under the wisdom of Old Monks and Learned Russian Drinks, throwing in between a ceratin bird which is such a bliss....

Need to convince her how its an asset... And finally we could be rich.. the hum-bug which is so much propounded now...

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Ishqiya

Ishqiya... The Romantic. Or the eternal Romantic. Do not know I believe Movie was good in comparison to what is dished out now days. The song had been creating that anticipation for long. The teaser also gave a good feeling and then, Vishal B as Producer and Music director with Naseer and Arshad added to it. (Arshad I believe is one actor who is amazing and actually he is quiet an unsung one and has not got his due; due to him)...

However, the movie left me wanting for more. The first half was again which built that anticipation... Chaubey had in first half built that amazing warm feeling and I was expecting to be jolted ... It was too good to last....
But then in the next half he just jumped into giving that jolt....The unfolding of plot was not so good... we knew its would happen this way only and that element of surprise was missing..... It felt disjointed.. A bit jerky as if Mr. Chaubey was in hurry to complete the movie.... It was not taut as a thriller should have been...

However as a debut its really good... Vishal as usual in his role of music director was amazing.... I do not have to say about the songs but the background score was amazing too...

I left with a feeling that it had to be more..The movie deserved more... wanted something more... Left a feeling of being incomplete... Something Missing....

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Catch 22

A small town boy... In a big-big Metro... what does he do?? Caught in Catch 22... He pines for the small town, its wind, its wild wild forest and green, the beautiful world and colours which even a clour blind can easily see, the brilliant sky in the night, the winter chill and summer Breeze...

He wants to go back. But he is used to the ways of the big town. In the small town where the world sleeps at seven, he is used to feel that the evening has just begun, you can go out to catch the latest movie, the theater both english and Hindi, the books you love is available any time and the money it affords you.

I know it has its price. No time for loved ones. No fresh breath to drive the morning blues away. The stress which actually makes you irritable. The harshness in mind as you live in the concrete jungle. And most important loss of that beautiful connect with whom he wants... The price of losing his character, where he is more selfish... The heavy price of acrimony... The price of hating himself for that...

... He does not have the answer of this catch 22...

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Just Thinking


I was thinking about Obama’s Nobel. Why? I agree he has talked a lot and brought in change and many a thing. But, it is all in words. He has done nothing till now. But I believe it’s the effect of changing times. Nobody believes in content and substance any more. It’s about how good a marketer you are. How you go ahead and talk.

Look at to-days world of socializing. All the social network sites. You are counted by how many followers you have. How many friend s you have in the list. There is nothing personal. Everything is open for all.

So as much you can brag or talk or update your status that’s what matters. I long for those days of conversation, excitement and personalization of Privacy, Names only you know. But its world sharing all. I would not say I did not try the Facebooks and Orkuts and all, but after initial excitement could see the shallowness of it. I am basically uncomfortable with it. Extremely.

But again this the way of world. If you talk and talk and talk and get connected, in this superficial world, even if you have not walked the talk… You can win a Nobel…

We live in shallow world and there does not exist any desire to actually build some depth today….Levi Strauss is dead and besides Chomsky and Derida I do not see any one with thought alive. In such scenario Obama with his words and no deeds Shines…

Monday, 10 August 2009

Attempt to analyse (Co Rub Off)


Socialism and Capitalism and welfare state, our existing economic systems. The alternatives finally of which we do not find any alternatives. Communism, what did it do. Foisted on us a totalitarian government where finally could not just live with it. Took away the basic requirement of a Human being; freedom. I am not even delving into the camps and the absolute power which corrupted them so absolutely. But Free Market, Capitalism and its different avatar has also not been panacea exactly. Few people are getting richer and I do not disagree that it has had far better effect than communism but it has failed. Look at millions of suffering, poor people.

Actually both have failed. It’s just that Capitalism is an alternative which serves the purpose of many and is kept alive. So what is the alternative? And like all the time I have a problem I find the answers in Gandhian ways. Gandhi was no economist but he had a vision of it. We had Nehru taking us to the Fabian Socialism way with Modern Temples of India, which actually are Monstrosities of India. But Gandhi said that before jumping into any Technology see what it would do for you. I am not against technology, but technology with a context is important, not without context. Do not just Rush in Technology. See what impact it would have on employment. Capitalism tries to maximize the efficiency of the production of goods, basic necessities or luxury goods. Socialism tried was to maximize the production of capital goods, such as heavy machinery (premise was, that future generations could enjoy a plenitude of consumer goods). Both capitalist and socialist economies were based on technology-intensive rather than labor-intensive production. Gandhi proposed labour Intensive production. The aim was to make sure that full employment in economy. So that all can provide for their own necessities by their own efforts. “With dignity, without any charity.”

Gandhiji was not at all opposed to technology. He wanted a proper mix of technology-intensive and labor-intensive production, depending on the stage of economy and situation of employment and poverty. The decision makers need to ensure this mix. Ensure and decide on the amount of available resources vis a vis with the population increase of employable workers. This should be the driving force for all the decision including external trade.

He said that we should always strive for income and wealth equalization by providing productive meaningful work for everyone, even if the full use of the latest technology is postponed. After all, what is the benefit of being on the cutting edge of technology if it increases human misery?

The echo of this where Gandhi Ji’s thoughts are articulated in economic terms is “Schumachers” seminal work “Small is Beautiful” Economics as if people mattered. I leave it at that.

PS: I am not much of an economist and have written many things which I may have understood and may have remained from articles which I may have read. Please do enlighten me.


Monday, 13 July 2009

Walks Revisited


Was wondering do walks rejuvenate.

From absolute morbidity and a chore it revitalizes and regains the purpose. It again has the spring, is ready to walk all the walks it had walked earlier and discover many more.

The Lovers walk with assurance of life-long togetherness. The tiff still making me sad but with the knowledge at home she is there waiting for me. The caring walk in the lawns with my Inamorata as she is all swollen with my love in the belly carrying the other life which would be a gift from her. That walk of extreme concern, slow now, fast then, shaking, praying, worried walk of mine as the my Life gifts me a new life. On a cry that uncontrolled running to see that tiny one and kiss the drained but ecstatic woman of mine. When that tiny little girl is in my arms and the girl who made it possible is strolling along with me. And then a day when I walk with tiny steps with a toddler with her fingers in my hand. Learn to take the steps of life again, relearn the beauty of life. The faltering steps of which I am the strength.

Then slowly the growing with content steps slow and assured. Filled with Love and imbued with life lived walk. Slowly it transforming into faltering walk of old age. More of slow steps walking to revisit the old places which we visited when young.

Then the final walk in the clouds with her forever together in Life walk of mine with her.

Yes you can reclaim your walk and Thank You Life for that...

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Apostle's Panegeric


Only two Sporting events which I watched in the recent months were the two historic events- Fed winning the 15th Grand Slam and Barca winning all the three in one go. However the comparisons end there itself.

Federer won the game at his worst. I mean, he was stretched and it was basically his luck and experience which carried him forward. Roddick impressed me more with the game. I am a great Fan of Fed and missed his impossible angles he used to create on the court. This final was complete let down and I could not help but compare it to the Sampras-Agassi Final. That is the best tennis I have watched. I have not seen such a sublime and beautiful game. The zone Sampras was in, made Agassi , who himself was no mean player , look like a novice. It was an amazing game of gods, a show of lethal power and strength each of them had. In that beauty and grace and complete control of the game Sampras was unparalleled. Look at the players he faced in his time. Agassi, Courier, Ivanasevic, Becker, Edberg.Do not know about Mcenroe and Bjorg rivalry and that era; but if Sampras was at his peak playing with Fedrer at his peak, Sampras would have beaten Federer hands down.
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Talking about beauty , I watched the most beautiful game of the planet, Soccer and watched the practitioners of that beauty Barcelona (Spain) taking on Man U in Champions League Final. Well Man U started with an attack and Ronaldo took even a shot at the goal,(Felt more of a Bravado) and then after 5 mins it was all the way Barca. The beauty and creativity of Iniesta, Xavi, Messi and Eto. The Sublime crosses, Curling Free Kicks and finishes plucked out from the realm of impossibilty. It was creativity of Iniesta and Xavi feeding Messi, Eto and Henry. It was visible triumph of beauty and creativity over the ugly defence and tactical game of other European clubs which thankfully Spain has not touched upon. If I watch Soccer, I watch it for Brazil, Argentina and Spain (which finally is coming on its own on world stage). Who could forget the 26 touch goal of Argentina in world cup when the opposition could not even touch the ball once. Ronaldinho’s free kick against England and then the countless matches which Argentina and Brazil making the game, so Sublime, bewitching and Mesmirising.

Thanks Sampras, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Messi, Riquelme, and Ronaldo (Brazil). You guys make the sports so beautiful. Giving us moments to cherish in this life.


Thursday, 2 July 2009

Sorry Guys

I was cleaning up my Blog... Thinking, organising it with labels and I deleted a few of them...

I am sorry to all and I am extremely angry with myself...

Its not at all fine... and I would like to retrieve it for sure, as it was my own thought...


sorry to all.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Laughter by Neruda

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

For My Timmy

...A Dog by Pablo Neruda

My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.

Some day I'll join him right there,
but now he's gone with his shaggy coat,
his bad manners and his cold nose,
and I, the materialist, who never believed
in any promised heaven in the sky
for any human being,I believe in a heaven I'll never enter.
Yes, I believe in a heaven for all dogdom
where my dog waits for my arrival
waving his fan-like tail in friendship.

Ai, I'll not speak of sadness here on earth,
of having lost a companion
who was never servile.
His friendship for me, like that of a porcupine
withholding its authority,was the friendship of a star, aloof,
with no more intimacy than was called for,
with no exaggerations:
he never climbed all over my clothes
filling me full of his hair or his mange,
he never rubbed up against my knee
like other dogs obsessed with sex.

No, my dog used to gaze at me,
paying me the attention I need,
the attention requiredto make a vain person like me understand
that, being a dog, he was wasting time,
but, with those eyes so much purer than mine,
he'd keep on gazing at me
with a look that reserved for me alone
all his sweet and shaggy life,
always near me, never troubling me,
and asking nothing.

Ai, how many times have I envied his tail
as we walked together on the shores of the sea
in the lonely winter of Isla Negra
where the wintering birds filled the sky
and my hairy dog was jumping about
full of the voltage of the sea's movement:
my wandering dog, sniffing away
with his golden tail held high,
face to face with the ocean's spray.

Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.

There are no good-byes for my dog who has died,
and we don't now and never did lie to each other.

So now he's gone and I buried him,
and that's all there is to it.

==========

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Memories

Me at 6 Months










Seven Months Me








MySis Six Months Old










My Bro 2 Yrs Old
Posted by Picasa

Monday, 27 April 2009

Birthdays...

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What are Birthdays? A way of telling you that dude you are getting old. Or, for people a moment to rejoice that you came into their life. As per Hindi Calendar I was born today on “Akshaya Tritaya.” My Nani goes by this only and not Solar (25th). She called up saying I had not been even brought home by now. You were still in hospital. Being the First Child in that Family I may have given birth to so many expectations. Brought Joy in lot of peoples life. And on your birthday, you feel for those. Getting buoyant if you have achieved some of those expectations; or weighed down if you let them down.

Also, birthdays as the way it is given importance; make lot of things happen in your life.

Like this time I got so many gifts. Like an Apples Shuffle IPod (Loved it has 4 GB space in slim little package), Chocolates, Perfume (Yes that too), Two wonderful books and like always Mom’s and Sis’s card. Even my Kinshuk’s. But this time something really unusual happened. I never thought it was possible. Few years earlier an extraordinary experinece of my Life had started with a Birthday Cake. Seems this year it is an attempt to finish it with a blank…

It is heart rendering. Leaves you so empty with a void in your heart…


So I do not know what to make of these Birthdays… Is it harbinger of Life or constant reminder of Fickleness of same… Is it happiness or just a day which reminds of things lost forever…

Whatever it is I feel it’s a day which is a mirror to you: Your Today, Tomorrow and most important your yesterdays. Its Joy its Reality check… Its emptiness and sadness.. Its Love, Its Loss… In a nut shell its reminder of Life, Depends How you take it that day…

Thursday, 16 April 2009

The Reading Wish List

As per BBC most people would have read only 6 out of the list below... I do not believe it. I have read more than that.
Though have read just 43 (Marked in X). I have miles to go. Not even 50% and I call myself Voracious Reader.. Shame on me...

Do tell me your Scores through the Comments.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen X
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X
6 The Bible X
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte X
8 1984 - George Orwell X
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens X
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller X
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare X
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell X
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy X
25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky X
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll X
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy X
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens X
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen X
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini X
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden X
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell X
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown X
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy X
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel X
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen X
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth X
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens X
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez X
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov X
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas X
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac X
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy X
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie X
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens X
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce X
76 The Inferno – Dante X
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert X
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry X
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle X
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton X
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas X
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare X
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl X
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Sunday, 29 March 2009

An Accidental Life

If you look from the point of view of others and not mine , I had miraculous escape from death. Or it was a close brush with death. It was an accident. I was on my way from Mumbai to Pune. We get shared cab and I was in Indica. So just after Lonavala, in the circuitous route a Tavera Hit us. We were on the outer most lane, on the expressway travelling at speed of maybe 100 KMPH. The Tavera Hit us in an angle, while taking turn. Our Car swerved at 90 degrees straight and in Panic the driver hit on gas pedal instead of the brakes and we were moving horizontally crossing all the lanes and hit the culvert on the other side. We crossed the Truck and Bus lane after crossing the Second lane. Miraculously we just hit the divider at the end of road and at such heavy rush none of the vehicles touched us. All four of us did not even get a scratch to show.

What was amazing and weird, was my reaction to it. When the car got hit I felt happy, in-fact elated. I felt very tranquil and absolutely at peace. The whole moment when we glided past all the lanes, I saw at the lanes and was feeling amazingly happy. The moment we hit the divider out of harm I felt extremely disappointed. I felt cheated and it felt again the whole lot of weight has come back on me. The lightness I was feeling was gone. I felt weighed down and heavy. And actually I felt irritated and morose.

I mean my reaction in comparison to all the other people in the cab was just opposite. They felt fear and then elation. I felt elation and then irritation. At the Imapct ll of a sudden I felt so light and happy and then when it was over we were saved I felt dissappointed and so weighed down.


And I felt something strange too. I felt my a connection break. Earlier whenever, I felt extremely happy or sad I felt connected to one person (wont name that person) I would transmit my thoughts and always knew that I am making it known. By some way or other that person would know. Some kind of intuition. It was something which pulled me back always. That caring presence, that meaningfullness in my life for someone brought me back from brink always. It sustained me.

All of a sudden I felt a wall, when I tried to connect. A strong wall. I felt that I am not needed. I saw the wall as transparent; a sad face on other side but still holding on to a wall. Then I saw indifference and disdain. This was so suureal in matter of seconds and my life it all felt meaningless and I hadstrong death wish in me.

This all happened in few seconds and belive me I saw all this. I would be called psychotic or halluniciating but I feel the heaviness vividly as I write. And it was such a joy when it was all so light.

Since then I am feeling extremely down, weighed down and meaningless.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

..... Gulal....

Again it is Anuraag Kashyap who inspires me to write one more Blog. I know, everyone would pontificate and write informed views of Politics, acting and many more. They would be much better analysis than mine.

So...

I would write what touched me. What made me exult and feel ecstatic…. It had to be Lyrics. The beautiful hard hitting Street Theater Lyrics. How songs were made the narrator. How songs narrated the whole movie and actually said so many things making the movie so powerful telling the whole story:

I was mesmerized by the Rashmi Rathi of Dinkar, Saahirs Yeh Duniya Mil bhi Jaye toh Kya hain, and Sarfaroshi Ki Tammana… of the Author Bismil and one who Lived it... Sang it... Made the mantra of his and millions... Ram Prasad Bismil…

It’s those words so well adapted and so well used, to enumerate the contemporary, and the irony of the purity and dreams of old lost to the greed and dirty politics of today… We have lost those anthems and Piyush you used the same meter and theme to show us what we are…

The Irreverence of Kashyap just mesmerizes me. I am thankful of his powerful voice, his ability to talk openly. Bring the mirror of Us to Us. Challenge the youth and ask what your contribution is.

For me Piyush Mishra and his words is the narrator, The protagonist, the Voice of Protest, The Lennon and Dylan Follower who laments for the dream of Zauk, Ghalib, Saahir and many more, who dared to dream then, fight or it then and which we squandered so easily and effortlessly.

Well India of that Dream is now the “Tashan” and limited to that Tashan and show off. Substance is gone… we are empty words crying hoarse about platitude of me and mine…preening at the false hollow images of ugly ourselves.

I love Kashyap as he can still say so much so well…..so fearlessly.

It also made me look around. It’s a movie that gets into you. You want to talk about it. Like I want to know what did Kashyap want to say through the Ardh Narishwar… He was the most intriguing character for me… ( I still would like to know the answer if anyone can enlighten me…)

But where are the people with whom you can talk, try to understand… I thought my companion would do so… But…. That companion is …………